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Post by Nicole Marie Anderson on Aug 11, 2009 0:22:31 GMT -5
As his lips made contact with hers she felt her head spin and as if she was watching this from a far not exactly experiencing it herself. And when they left hers she finally felt back in her own body. Something good always had to come to an end in her life and of course that had to end. She wondered if there would ever be another initiated by him again.
Slowly Nicole nodded her head, she knew he was telling the truth and when she went to tell him that. The words seemed to have left her mouth and again she nodded her head. It was the only thing she could do. If she opened her mouth she was sure ruin the moment the two had just shared.
Trusting him she let more of her body lean into him. Everything that had happened through the day had finally stolen all of her energy away. She closed her eyes with a yawn. Finally the wave that had held her down for so long had let her up. Everything had taken it's course and she had taken her toll.
Her eyes couldn't stay closed and she turned them up to look at Christopher in time to see him blush. And she gave him a warm smile. Nicole clicked her tongue ring against the her teeth. It gave her something to do without talking. Cristopher hadn't wanted to talk and she doubted he'd want to listen to her ramble.
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Post by Christopher Valentino DeMarr on Aug 17, 2009 2:21:28 GMT -5
Christopher wrapped his arms tighter around her. What a day, what a life. The events the two had shared the path that they ran was one that made themselves. Not knowing where it will go, not knowing which way to turn only where it began. It turned everything upside down and exicted and hurt in this teenage youth and for a moment everything was calm. Unsure, but calm Christopher smiled back at Nicole's shining face and gently gathered her up in his arms and stood.
"You know we can't stay out here forever. Where to? Home? Hospital? What would you like? I won't get in trouble with your parents or anything if I steal you will I?" His tone was soft, almost a whisper but still with authority.
Christopher looked at the sky and wondered what time it was. The sky was still dark and you could faintly see the stars but far away in the distance the light pinkish glow of the sun illuminated a portion of the sky. Probably near three or four in the morning. "You know I'll take you anywhere,"
'For now.' he added in his mind. The unsure thoughts that he tried so hard to bite out always found a way back in. Who could blame him though? Nicole had his heart in her small little hand, and her grip so tight her fingernails dug into it. With such circumstances and with such a grip Christopher was grudgingly willing to let her rip it out if it meant having to stop if necessary.
Christopher kissed her forehead as he always did in that gentlemanly, caring fashion. Waiting for her reply. It warmed his heart to see her almost glow at his touch in such a soft way meaning more that she really loved and cared for him rather than she was lascivious about it all.
He stated once more, "Where to?" but it was more of a quiet question leaning towards the general big picture. Where /should/ we take this path, where /can/ we take this path? But the questions he worried himself no matter what he happened to do drowned in the smile she gave him.
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Post by Nicole Marie Anderson on Aug 17, 2009 10:17:16 GMT -5
Nicole let herself be pulled up as the boy stood up and she dropped her arms from him when he told her they couldn't stay out her forever. Without saying a word she turned to look up at the sky. Suddenly she wished she had a camera to capture this picturesque moment. Along with every good feeling that laid with it.
Finally she shrugged, it was her way of say she didn't know. Where to the question pounded in her head. "Wherever's best," she whispered into his chest. Though she didn't specify if it was wherever was best for her or for him. Nicole wasn't sure if there was a place that could be good for both of them, sometimes it didn't seem possible while other times it did.
"I know. I know," she muttered once again into his chest. Honestly she hoped Christopher would stay true to his words. For once the glass with them appeared to be half full. But when would it go back to being half empty? The thoughts always threatened to come back up every moment. When would she finally be able to keep them away.
Slowly the shivering started once more and she looked for the jacket she had brought outside with them but she didn't seem to see it. Instead of pulling closer to keep warm, she pulled away so he wouldn't be able to feel the shivers. Surely being the nice guy he was he'd make her go inside.
Nicole was wrapped around his finger, if he told her to go inside she'd do it to make him happy. Not for herself she only seemed to ruin things when she did things for herself. Him, only reason she hadn't gone completely out of control.
Where to, the dreaded question asked again. Why couldn't they just stay outside forever. Everything was right out there. Perfect was more the word she was looking for. And now trying to figure out where to, it was just a question she didn't have an answer to.
Christopher held on to everything she wanted, everything she needed. Could she really lose the habits, could she really stop hurting him and herself. The question now made sense. She repeated in her head racking her brain for an answer. "Whatever's best," she said again. It was the only answer she could figure out.
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Post by Christopher Valentino DeMarr on Aug 18, 2009 4:19:41 GMT -5
Whatever's best. Christopher ran the words through his mind once more and then laughed softly, walking steadily across the parkinglot to where is car wait, cold and patient. He caught a glimpse of the pill bottle he had thrown what had seemed forever ago and he winced.
"Whatever's best doesn't apply to us my dear," he smiled, it was true and it made everything much more difficult but exciting. Nicole was worth every moment of it. She had taught him many lessons in life and she'd helped him become who he was today. Despite their youth, their inexperience, Christopher swears he loves her, and truth be told he probably does.
Christopher gently opened the car door and set Nicole in the passenger seat, leaving her for just a moment to grab a spare blanket he always had in the trunk for emergencies. For some reason women were always cold. Another reason they've got men to warm them up. At this thought Christopher smirked as he shut the door and took his seat behind the wheel.
"How about we just drive to the country side? I don't want people right now. I don't want anything to ruin this. I just want us. Nothing from outside." he placed a strong arm around her and searched her eyes hopefully. Though he saw only that she was as tired and uninformed as he was. Strangely enough, he smiled more at this.
What had happened between the two all of the sudden was something strange and something he couldn't explain all too well or even understand. Something just clicked. They were both on the same page, searching for something within each other that they clearly didn't possess.
"Unless that is, you don't want to..." He gave her a sheepish look and placed the key in the ignition and revved the engine to life warming up the car. He wondered what his parents would say, what her parents would say. Oh well. He'd call them later and explain everything. Or try to.
Christopher rested his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes waiting for her reply. Moments like these he found his peace. He sighed happily at the atmosphere and its serenity.
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Post by Nicole Marie Anderson on Aug 18, 2009 12:03:46 GMT -5
She was glad Christopher had taken control otherwise she was sure the two would be standing outside in the cold. 'Thanks," she said after recieving the blanket and she wrapped herself up in it.
The pain killers that had been in her I.V had worn out and her body finally registered that. Every bone in her body ached when she moved. The stitches that rab across her face felt as if they were ripping her skin apart. Moving to get more comfortable she winced. The headache from the concusion she had recieved she couldn't even start to describe the pain.
"Whoever decided that it doesn't work for us was some cruel, cold hearted jerk," she said attmepting a laugh after it. However that only sent needles into her ribs and she quickly stopped her laugh. A smile smile appeared on her face as a way of saying she was okay, everything was okay.
With closed eyes she rested her head upon the arm he had slung around her. "I just want you," she muttered opening her eyes to look up at him.
Everything between the two had changed them. Without Christopher Nicole would be a million times worse off. Many times she had tried to stop but addiction wouldn't allow that.
Her thoughts went to her parents. They'd be furious and after this last stunt she had pulled surely she'd end up back in rehab for the third time. She doubted that she'd be allowed to do in home rehab like the other teo times she had failed were. No most likely they were going to send her away.
"No that sounds good. Let just please get away from here. From everyone. Please," she pleaded. She might as well enjoy her freedom; the little bit she had until it was stolen away from her once more.
As he rested his head upon her shoulder she softly placed her head on his. She caught a glance of herself in the mirror and she shut her eyes. Like earlier the sight frightened her and she couldn't believe that Christopher could look at her the way he had been doing.
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Post by Christopher Valentino DeMarr on Aug 22, 2009 2:26:37 GMT -5
Christopher pressed her cold small hand to his lips, grateful for everything that had just so happened. He could cry with joy. He couldn't tell why but as they had been drifting due to the unspoken words that ached to be heard, they had become dangers to themselves and others. Now, though, they had saved each other. There was no more hurt, only peace. He hoped it could stay this way. There was more to this.
Christopher pulled away gently noticing her wince and assuming she was in a great deal of pain. "Good plan," he nodded and smiled encouragingly. Shifting the car into reverse and pulling out of the parking space, he looked at Nicole and bit his lip. She looked awful, and unfortunately in pain, but Christopher knew that she was emotionally stable and that was one step he'd rather have than looking adorable.
They sped away from the hospital and onto the highway, the passing street lights and movement of the dashed line ahead of him was calming. For the moment there was silence. No movement other than the hum of the engine and the light sound of their breathing.
"Nicole.." Christopher said firmly, his brow furrowed in thought, "My parents.. They are completely aware of the emotional unstability we've put each other through. I was acting different at home and with David they're never too careful anymore. Nicole, when I come back they don't want me to see you anymore. They're incredibly strict with me ever since... You know. My behavior was really screwed up at home. They said, they were considering a military school. Talking about how either way it would be good for me.."
Christopher sighed. It was true. Every since David's old gang found him, his parent's were trying to 'save' him. The fight with Anthony, the fire, and the earthquake had only finalized their decsions.
"I don't want to Nicole, but I can't run away like David did. I'm never going to be him in anyway, and I can't put them through that again." Christopher tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Shifting his eyes to catch a glimpse of her reaction.
He smirked, "You're right, who ever decided that for us was a jerk." He took one hand off the wheel and intwined it with hers, giving her a hopeful look. "It can't be that bad right?"
His tone lowered. "Te quiero por siempre, I love you forever,"
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Post by Nicole Marie Anderson on Aug 22, 2009 11:53:08 GMT -5
This, this was the way thing were supposed to be between the two. A future for the two suddenly looked hopeful for the first time. Slowly her eyes opened as they started moving, out her window she watched the passing trees and signs attempting to figure out where they were going to no such luck.
The silence in the car was welcomed for once it wasn't the awkward silence that haunted the two everytime something happened. Looking over at him she smiled. This was perfect in almost every way the only way it could've been better was if she wasn't hurt.
His words made there way into her head and they stuck there. Her face which only moments ago held a smile was no turned upside down. Tears burned the rim of her eyes and tightly she shut them to keep them from falling.
Nicole hadn't said anything she didn't know what to say. Christopher made it sound as if he was going to listen to what his parents had told him. She didn't understand why he couldn't wait until later to tell her this, why he had to do it when everything seemed right.
Nothing was ever going to be right for them. When they managed to pull themselves together another attempted to pull them apart. "I don't understand why though," she mumbled turning her back to him. "Make them understand, they can't do this. It's not fair to you, to me, to us," she stopped herself and wipped away some of the tears that had started to fall.
She wanted to pull away her hand, to be angry with him for doing this to her right away but she didn't have enough strenght to do so. And she didn't answer him. What was there to say?
He said I love you and she believed it but Nicole didn't want to hear it right now. "My parents are going to send me away after this. They've given up and they see only one more option. And they're going to be pissed when they hear I've ran away from the hospital," she turned to look at him. "Please let's not go back," she said whispering.
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Post by Christopher Valentino DeMarr on Aug 23, 2009 2:40:06 GMT -5
Christopher instantly regretted those words which had left a bitter aftertaste on his tongue. He couldn't look her in the eyes and his sense of guilt overpowered him. He recoiled his hand from hers and placed in on the steering wheel. He had hurt her again right in the moment of clarity.
"I'm sorry.." he mumbled in a dry voice. He didn't want to fight. Especially right now. He focused his view ahead of him. The hospital had been near the edge of town, small farms and towns swept past them and the street lights grew less frequent. A faint murmer of cicadas could be heard if you strained your ears to listen hard enough.
Christopher sighed. "I didn't mean to upset you. I don't expect you to level with me, but, I /can't/ let my parents go through that again. I just /can't/ screw me for having a sense of ethics and honor. They didn't do anything to deserve all that. I don't want to force it on them," it was difficult for him to explain what he knew was right and how it wouldn't be the end of the world.
"Nicole, it's just military school, it's not a prison. I'll still see you, and you know that if anything came up I'd be there..." His voice faded out. He realized he seemed heartless, cruel, like he had played with her emotions. He wasn't that type of man. He never wanted to be and it crushed his spirits further.
"I'm not going to run away from every problem in my life like David did. I know I'm paranoid, I know I'm coming off horrible, I know I'm thinking like the man my parents raised me to be. I wish I could be everything you wanted Nicole. I'm sorry I'm less than perfect for you but this is who I am and what I believe in."
A quick silence spaced between them, as Christopher drew a breath and lowered his voice and tenderly added; "I haven't left yet, I'm still here aren't I? I'm here with you, driving you to the edge of no where because it's what /you/ wanted, what /we/ wanted,"
Christopher turned away from her. Afraid of how she might look to him. Afraid of facing the consequences of his actions, because the consequences affected her more than him.
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Post by Nicole Marie Anderson on Aug 23, 2009 13:28:03 GMT -5
She was angry, she was frustrated, but most of all she was hurt. After this she expected everything to be perfect with them , or as perfect could get with them. This wasn't what she had expected out of him she thought he was different.
"I don't understand why you can't just explain it to them. Convince them that things are different. Actually never mind do whatever you /think/ you need to do," she muttered bitterly. Instantly she regretted it she hadn't meant to make things worse right now.
Why he couldn't do that for her was beyond her reasoning. Again this was just another example to prove the point that things could never really be good with them.
In many ways Nicole it was hypocritical of her to be angry with him for leaving. If he wasn't going to leave eventually her parents would make her leave. They weren't aware of Christopher but they had been aware of everything else in her life inflicting pain.
"You might as well call it prision. You're not going to be able to leave whenever you want. Nothings going to happen here with me. I bet I won't even be here. Nothing to worry about," she murmed looking over at him. His emotions played across his face.
Sitting up she placed her hand on his thigh. "Well if this is the time we get to spend together we might as well make it good. I mean when I get back it's going to be hell," sitting up had made her head start to spin. But she rather be sitting up touhcing him then laying down.
She wanted him to look over at him. She wished she could be the bigger person and tell him that everything would be okay but that wasn't her. Nicole was the one who needed reassurance with everything, the one who always looked at the glass as half empty.
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Post by Christopher Valentino DeMarr on Aug 26, 2009 0:12:32 GMT -5
A lump almost formed in his throat, if Nicole wasn't in the car right now he had half the mind to speed into the nearest obstacle and crash. She always had such an incredible impact on him when she was upset with him. With his emotions at their all time highs and lows, if she wasn't careful, he could hurt either her or himself. He pushed his instability away and focused on the road ahead.
At Nicole's words he said nothing. He didn't know how to reply. He opened his mouth to reply but only a feeble stutter sounded. He had this near infection where he had to please everybody, and that was impossible, making it difficult for him. He had always tried to everything everyone had ever asked of him unless he believed otherwise. He had never walked away from a responsibility unlike Nicole. He didn't know how to start now.
Christopher jumped as the electricity shot through him at her touch. A shiver ran down his spine, and he looked down nervously. He wanted to tell her to lay back down, she had just gotten out of the hospital, but his voice had left him. Instead he placed a shaky hand over her collar bone and gently pressed her downwards.
Christopher was stiff from everything he had went through, and his eyes drooped from lack of sleep. He glanced behind him and saw the city was far in the distance now, and Christopher relaxed as he saw the twinkling lights fade in the rear view mirror. Ahead of him was a winding road through dry looking fields with few trees and smaller fewer lakes.
Ahead was the darkened silhouette of some sort of abandoned building, as Christopher slowed, inching closer to it, it appeared to be an old gas station. Very old by look of the dusty prices that still read $0.89 for diesel.
He pulled in infront of the small darkened store and parked the car. He sighed and turned to face Nicole, placing his elbows on his knees and laying his head in his hands. He took a deep breath;
"We're practically in the country now, and I need some sleep. Those two days of watching over you drained me," He blamed his want on exhaustion, but he more hoped it would improve his mood and reasoning. Vital necessities for the odd pair. He reached towards the keys and gave her a look motioning that it was all up to her. "Do you want to keep driving? I'm not that tired... I mean, I can if you want me to no problem.." He shrugged. The gas station was probably locked but he could break in couldn't he? He had a crowbar or something in the trunk.
He felt like a run away already, and he couldn't tell if this was a warning or a premonition.
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Post by Nicole Marie Anderson on Aug 27, 2009 9:27:48 GMT -5
Christopher held the pieces of Nicole together like rubber cement. It put things together but whenever it was wished it came up easily without any trace of anything left. She had never been scared until she met him.
They destroyed each other and then theyy repaired each other. She had nothing to say to him. Everything seemed like it had been said already and if either one dared to open their mouth it was just ruin it. She had the urge to speak but her free hand clamped tightly over it.
With an agitated sigh she slowly laid back down with the pressing hand of Christopher. A small whimper left her throat as she rolled over onto her side. Every little thing was hurting, physica and emotional.
Nicole kept her gaze outside starring at the passing trees and buildings. Each second decreased the number of buildings and brought on the number of trees. She realized that they had pretty much left the coty behind them now. A sensation of freedom ran through out her body.
She closed her eyes for a moment only to open them when the car stopped in front of the old gas station. Slowly she sat up and turned to face him, gentley her head fell back against the window. "You can stop. Get some sleep or something," she muttered. Guilit washed over her looking at him.
This exhaustion, this pain was all due to her. Was all because of her lack of better judgement. Her attempt to prove a stupid point had only brought upon more pain.
Reaching across she grabbed the keys. "I won't do anything stupid," she mumbled as her other hand enclosed on the one with the keys. Gripping them tightly she gave him a small reassuring smile. "Thanks."
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Post by Christopher Valentino DeMarr on Aug 29, 2009 4:58:05 GMT -5
Christopher smiled weakly, and rolled his eyes jokingly, "I don't believe you," he winked and opened the car door, stumbling out rather than stepping. His eyes itched and his vision was a bit blurred. He walked over to the empty building and peered inside. It looked dusty and messy. Not very warming. He tugged hard on the door handle and to no surprise it was locked. Christopher shrugged and headed back to the car.
He stumbled right back in and looked at Nicole. "Eh, I'm not desperate enough for this. My dad and I used to pass down this way to go fishing. There's a bed and breakfast about an hour away. It's small and in the middle of no where but they've got great service. What do you think?" He turned the heater up to guard against the early, early morning chill.
The clock in the radio said it was 3:17 am. Christopher moaned and rubbed his eyes. It was too early, and too many things had happened. He felt like he could sleep until he was dead. His throat still burned from the tubes and his stomach had an odd feeling that he couldn't explain.
He remembered that he had been on suicide watch after the overdose and wondered what havoc their little getaway had caused.
Christopher turned up the heat again absent mindedly, he bit his lip and looked to Nicole again. "So, do you want to wait an hour for a bed and breakfast, or just stay here?" He tried to smile but the purple circles under his bloodshot eyes betrayed him.
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Post by Nicole Marie Anderson on Aug 29, 2009 9:34:58 GMT -5
Nicole watched him stumble away and then stumble back. As he made his way back in she attempted to pry her head off the window, with no such luck. "Well maybe you should start to believe me," she said. Her tone made it sound like she was joking but there was a lot of truth to her words.
"I can drive us there if your too tired," she muttered studying his face. Her right hand left her side and reached out and grabbed his thigh. She was trying to be reassuring. Finally she had enought strenth and she managed to stop using the window as support.
Slowly she inched her way closer to him. When she was where she wanted to be she placed her head on his shoulder and moved her hand to the inside of his thigh. Her eyes closed and either way she was fine, in the car or in a bed and breakfast. However the bed and breakfast sounded a million times better then this.
"I'll drive if you want to go," she mumbled. In her mind she didn't think that he'd allow her to but it was worth a shot. And anyways she held the keys still. Who said she was going to give them back?
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Post by Christopher Valentino DeMarr on Sept 4, 2009 22:11:17 GMT -5
A wave of slight intoxication brushed across him as Nicole leaned on him. He smiled weakly at her willingness and eagerness to help. She seemed small at that moment. This was one of the most sober times he'd ever seen her. He gently pressed her head to his chest and kissed her forehead. He felt very at peace. He was on the verge of forgetting all about driving for several moments before he remembered how sore he was and how much he wanted a normal bed.
Christopher thought about her offer. It'd be nice but Nicole was probably in no condition to drive. Well, he couldn't really say much for himself but his stamina probably lasted longer than hers. "If you really want to, I wouldn't mind," he mumbled, trying to avoid letting her know how he felt. "But I can drive another hour. It'll be worth it,"
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Post by Christopher Valentino DeMarr on Sept 4, 2009 22:18:36 GMT -5
He shrugged his shoulders and placed his other hand over the one Nicole had placed on his thigh. His heart beat a bit faster but only for a moment. He didn't want the dominant male in him to take advantage of their situation. Especially with how screwed up they both were.
He shifted in his seat so that he was facing the passenger window, so that he could get a better look at her. He felt a pang of guilt hit him so hard he almost winced. She seemed so happy and beautiful, but exhausted and almost faded in a way though her face seemed to glow.
He brushed a hair away from her face and sighed, but it was because of her each other and how this morning had been a good one, rather than dissapointment or sorrow.
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