|
Post by Nicole Marie Anderson on Aug 5, 2009 4:34:22 GMT -5
Nicole Marie's eyes slowly fluttered open and she tried to figure out where she was. The beeping monitors and the white room screamed out Hospital. Looking down she noticed the i.v in her arm among the mixture of scars and she went to rip it out except something stopped her. Straps held down her arms in order to prevent her from doing the very task she had planned on. “Fantastic,” she muttered just as a nurse came in.
“Well sweetie I’m very glad to see you awake after two days now. That fall down the stairs must have really done some damage,” the nurse smiled warmly as she set down a cup of water on the tray next to her. Reaching over she undid the straps on Nicole’s arms. “Honey I suggest next time when you and your friends call shot gun don’t take off running,” she chuckled as she left the room.
Nicole was quite surprised the nurse believed that, she could smell the alcohol and smoke on herself it was so strong she was sure that everyone who entered the room could smell it. Slowly she picked up the cup and held it closely so she could look at her face. A small bruise laid on her cheek and another on her chin. Gently her fingers rose to the right side of her face. From her cheek bone to the middle of her eye brow laid the lovely stitches. Surprised at her reflection she dropped the cup shattering it.
Across the room her mother awoke on the couch to the sound of the shattering cup. “Oh Nicole I’m so glad to see you awake,” she was immediately at Nicole’s side. “Anything I can do,” she asked. Nicole had to do it. “Yes Margret can you give me a moment to myself,” she finally said. Defeated her mother slowly left the room
|
|
|
Post by Christopher Valentino DeMarr on Aug 5, 2009 4:59:28 GMT -5
Christopher was exhausted and scared, in a dazed dream like state. He sat in the corner of Nicole's hospital room in a hard metal fold up chair. His head rested upon his folded arms which rested upon his knees. One would think the poor boy was asleep, he pretty much was. He hadn't slept at all the two days Nicole had been unconsious. What had happened, he didn't know, why she did it, he didn't know either, the only thing he knew was that more than likely it was his fault.
Christopher raised his head slowly, every part of him ached from sitting in that metal chair for pretty much two whole days other then pacing the hospital halls when his nerves started screwing up. Nicole was awake, but he didn't have the energy to comprehend what it meant to him. Dark circles had formed under the eyes that barely were open. He wanted to say something, acknowledge the fact that he knew she was there and breathing but he couldn't find anything within his numb body. He just turned away from her and winced. His handsome face twisted with pain.
"Fell down stairs racing for shot gun huh?" His speech was slurred and he stared at the ground as he spoke. "I can't believe you Nicole. I can smell the smoke and alcohol on you. Why would you do this?" his tone was cold and hurt. He was cold and hurt. "You have no idea what you're doing to me..." He slammed his fist into the hospital wall, chipping the paint ever so slightly. His fists were clenched and his brow furrowed. He still refused to look at her.
|
|
|
Post by Nicole Marie Anderson on Aug 5, 2009 14:23:53 GMT -5
Christopher's voice and sudden action was a scare to her, she hand't noticed the boy in the other corner. It also suprised her that he was there. Nicole longed for him to come closer her throat felt horse and dry and suddenly she wished she still had the cup of water. On the other hand she understood why he didn't want to look at her.
She wasn't sure what she could say to him. There wasn't any reason to explain why she had lunged herself down the stairs. Nicole was quite sure that's what she had done but why? She couldn't even explain that.
She frowned watching the boy. There were a million things she wanted to say to him but when she opened he rmouth nothing but a small raspy cough came out. She felt so vulnerable laying there on the hospital bed with Christopher sitting there. "I'm sorry," she managed to croak out. It felt like it had drained every last bit of energy out of her body.
|
|
|
Post by Christopher Valentino DeMarr on Aug 5, 2009 17:10:48 GMT -5
"That's all you can say for yourself?" Christopher muttered through gritted teeth "Nicole what were you thinking!?!?!" he shouted grabbing at his hair, trying to calm himself down. "Don't let /me/ do this to you!" It was his fault and he knew it. Nicole wouldn't throw herself downstairs for a joy ride, this had to stop, he needed a plan of action.
Exhausted by his sudden use of energy Christophre slid his head back into his hands and drew in a long ragged breath. "I need to sleep," he mumbled in less than a whisper. He looked up at Nicole and winced as he stood up, his body was sore everywhere and he nearly limped as he walked over to her bedside. Placing his hand on hers but still not meeting her gaze.
"Tell me everything," he demanded softly pulling up a chair for him to sit down on. He rested his forehead on her bed and raised a hand motiononing her to start. "Now." he added, his demanding tone more extreme.
|
|
|
Post by Nicole Marie Anderson on Aug 6, 2009 2:50:01 GMT -5
Slowly she pulled her hand out from underneath his and she turned away from him. Nicole had no idea where to start. How to tell him that she hadn't planned on that happening, how she had a few drinks and then three lines of cocaine. How she saw the stairs and thought nothing could hurt her anymore then she was already hurting, how she was wasted and thought this was a good way to prove her point. No she didn't feel like tell him all that.
"I don't remember very well and my head still hurts," she muttered. She didn't want to put him through anymore. She knew he had been through enough already. The way he looked, the way he talked, the way he carried himself displayed exhaustion and she felt no need to bring him anymore.
Nicole wanted to reach out to him and laying her she wished she hadn't of moved her hand out from underneath his. "Christopher," she groaned she felt like she needed to drink a gallon of water. "You aren't doing anything to me. It's always been me doing everything to myself," she finally managed to say.
|
|
|
Post by Christopher Valentino DeMarr on Aug 6, 2009 3:08:06 GMT -5
Christopher's eyes looked lifeless as he watched her turn away from him. He reached out his hand and grazed her waist, deciding she didn't want him to touch her, let alone talk to her. He pulled his hand away slowly. He sighed another ragged breath and stood up taking the bottle of pain killers from his coat pocket and pouring out at least seven into his hand. He looked at them dully and almost hopefully. It would be stupid to take them all but he wanted it all to stop so badly he had to clench his fist shut before he popped them all in his mouth.
Christopher couldn't go on like this. For the first time since he'd been there he looked her straight in the eyes his grasp on the pills loosening ever so slightly. "You're right Nicole. It /is/ you doing all this to yourself, but it's killing me so I'm done with you. I'm done. No more. I can't take it." he headed towards the door and turned the knob before looking back to her again.
"This is my goodbye," He stepped outside her room and started walking down the hall, his hands stuffed in his pocket, pills still in his grasp. He was shaking with fear at the thoughts running through his head. Maybe it was just the lack of sleep, but it didn't feel like it. He opened the door to the stairs and sat down on the nineth step down. Leaning against the wall, grasping the hand rail for support. He couldn't go back to Nicole. He couldn't.
"What have I done!?!" he moaned, Nicole was suicidal because of him and he had just told her goodbye. He couldn't go back to her though. He stood up and began pacing up and down the stairs tripping her and there and scraping his knees, he pulled the medication out of his pocket and shook his fist. He was breaking down again. "Just like David.. Just like David... Just like David.." he muttered over and over again before he just plain out yelled at the top of his lungs. He was certain someone would come running in at any moment thinking he had killed himself. Maybe he would.
|
|
|
Post by Nicole Marie Anderson on Aug 6, 2009 3:26:40 GMT -5
Nicole turned over as she heard the door shut, she couldn't believe that he had just said that to her. She had no idea what to do. It had happened so fast that reality hadn't quite set in. Though later she would probably have another break down. However she did know that he had just left her while she laid in a hospital bed.
Reaching down she ripped the i.v. out of her arm and dropped it with the shattered glass on the ground. A monitor started beeping and two nurses rushed in. Nicole wasn't sure what they were doing but soon her arms were strapped back down an the i.v. was back in her arm. Through all the rush she hadn't even gotten a drink of water.
Margret stormed back in the room. "Nicole Marie Grace Anderson I have no idea what has gotten into you lately. I know the earthquake did some damage but I assumed it was all physical. The cuts on your arms and legs, along with the one on the side that shit is all physical but mentally what's going on with you? You I don't even know what to do with you anymore," she sat down in the chair that Christopher had sat moments before.
"You could get me something to drink," she said her voice still raspy. Like she had done with Christopher she attempted to roll over but the straps prevented this so she simply turned her head and shut her eyes.
|
|
|
Post by Christopher Valentino DeMarr on Aug 6, 2009 3:57:22 GMT -5
Christopher reopened the stair doors and looked down the hall at the door that led to Nicole. His hands were sweaty and shaking, turning the pills that he held soft and sticky. His eyes widened and he had the impulse to just run straight back to Nicole and kiss her. Tell her how sorry he was, how much he cared for her. His face paled, making the dark circles under his eyes stand out greatly. His shut his eyes tightly and swallowed the pills. This was good. This was good.
He looked at the door that seemed so far away. He saw the nurses running in and the beeping and panicked. "She's dying.." he immediently thought and ran for the door. His dark digure loomed in the doorway. He wouldn't go in. He wiped the sweat off his brow, he felt very hot all of the sudden and there were pains in his chest as his breathing slowed significantly. His hands flew to his throat.
"Water.." he croaked, he grabbed a nurse's shoulder and gave her a pleading look before his eys rolled back in his head for several moments. He was twitching all over and he was sweating even more now. This had to be the pills. At that sudden realization Christopher's face twisted into a painful and frightening smile. He almost relished at the idea of hurting himself because of Nicole. She'd driven him to do this. She'd driven him mad.
Christopher laughed darkly and bitterly, though it was difficult the more his breathing slowed. Another pain shot through his chest and he whimpered falling to his knees on all fours. He watched the sweat from his face drip onto the floor and he heard a distant call from one nurse to the other. What was going on? He felt like someone had stuffed cotton in his ears and blurred his vision. He dragged himself into Nicole's room the source of the calling.
Someone grabbed him by his shoulders and started lifting him up. He struggled. Fear was setting in. What was going on? Where was he? Who was this? His eyes rolled back in his head again. "No.. What? Where is.. Stop that.." he tried to gasp for air but his breathing stopped him. He needed air.. He couldn't breathe. Everything was fading out.
And thus the nurses wheeled him off to pump his stomach, give him counter drugs and help him start breathing again.
|
|
|
Post by Nicole Marie Anderson on Aug 6, 2009 4:08:36 GMT -5
Nicole watched in horror as the nurses took Christopher out, she wished she could plug her ears as her mother yelled at the nurses. She yelled at them for everything and anything at that moment. Finally one of the nurses brought her water and held the cup up for her as she drank out of a straw.
"What's going on with him?" she asked the nurse who had held the water cup. However the cofidential rules of the hospital caused the women to shrug her shoulders as she walked away. "fuck you," Nicole hissed at the women and in return the nurse simply shut the doors with a small laugh.
For once Nicole looked for her mother she planned to send her to go find out what was going on with Christopher, however she couldn't find her in the small room. She wished she could get up. She felt like she was going crazy, her mind was racing with all types of different thoughts. She wanted to kill Christopher for what he had done.
Nicole thought of him being selfish at this moment though thinking that made her feel like a hypocrite, she had been selfish ever since she first met the boy. All this frustration built up into a yell and she let out out. Her mother along with a nurse ran in. "Get this off," she yelled looking at the straps.
Margret glared at the nurse and finally the nurse reached over and undid the straps. "Thanks," Nicole muttered to her mother who sat down once again. She stared at the girl and Nicole wanted to turn away but she felt some magnetic pull. A strong urge to tell her mother everything came and she struggled to push it away.
|
|
|
Post by Christopher Valentino DeMarr on Aug 6, 2009 4:32:55 GMT -5
Christopher was barely concious. Concious enough to feel the harshness of the bright lights through his eye lids, to feel the needles in his arms and the tubes down his throat. Oh no. They're going to pump my stomach. Christopher thought in his head. He felt the doctors slide the tube down his throat and into his stomach. He gagged and pulled tried to pull at the disgusting tube inside him but before he could do much damage there was another stick in his arm and he felt like someone had slammed him into a brick wall. He couldn't move, he couldn't focus, he couldn't feel.
He heard the suction as the doctors emptied his stomach contents somewhere. His thoughts turned to Nicole and he pictured her face in the blackness that surrounded him. That was stupid of him to do that, but he didn't regret it. He wished the doctors just let him choke on his own vomit and let him die. He was exhausted and hurt. He wondered what Nicole was thinking.
There was shouting somewhere and Christopher felt warm water flood his stomach. They had to be done soon. It was just a stomach pumping. He felt as though he had fallen asleep finally when he suddenly felt sick. Very sick. He didn't know what was happening but it hurt. He started choking on the tube in his throat and vomiting blood. There was more shouting and Christopher felt panicked. What if he /did/ die? What would happen to Nicole? "Just like David.." he thought before vomitting again.
Christopher regained conciousness in a small cold room. Apparently a hospital room similar to Nicole's. There was a soft beeping and drip of an IV. He felt the tube across his face and in his nostrils helping him breathe normally. Christopher moaned. "I'm so stupid.." He mumbled covering his face with his hands. Now he had landed both him /and/ Nicole in the hospital. "Why did I do that?" he asked himself hoarsely. He felt his eyes sting as tears threatened. "Because I was hurt.." he answered himself. "Because I was angry.." so many different emotions flooded him at one time he felt weak, "Because I was scared.." he moaned again at his feelings and own stupidity. He rubbed his throat. It was killing him. He would never look at tubes the same way again. His mind rushed back to all the events that seemed to have happened so long ago.
Christopher sighed and opened his eyes looking around for some food. He was starving now that they had emptied all his stomach contents from overdosing on the pain killers. New quesions rose in his mind. Where was his stuff? Where was Nicole? But he pushed them away. Food was his number one priority right now. He glanced over to the "Push for Assistance" button and pressed it and waited.
|
|
|
Post by Nicole Marie Anderson on Aug 6, 2009 4:44:47 GMT -5
Margret had left the room after Nicole demand that she found out what was happening woth Christopher. She sat up in the bed and tried to get up but her body felt to weak and she slowly laid herself back down. She hated this, she hated what she had done to herself. Why she wanted to know. It hadn't done anything done but land her and Christopher in the hospital.
"Well he had to get his stomach pumped. I have no idea why. Or I mean I don't know what he did in order to have his stomach pumped. But that's all I can get out of them," Margret hung out in the doorway not wanting to come in.
Another muttered thanks was all Nicole said to her as she closed her eyes. Shutting them tighter she didn't want to cry she had no idea what was going on with Christopher and she didn't want to think the worst; that wasn't going to help either of them. Nicole wanted him back in her room. She felt like this was all her fault.
Her mind went to everything. First the fight it was for her. Then the fire he had left outside to get away from the heat and probably her too. And lastly the earthquake. Again he had allowed himself to get because of her and all she had were these scars to remind her of that everyday. She wished he hadn't of done the things he had done. Nicole wished she was a different person.
Everything felt so wrong here. She felt dizzy and lightheaded nothing made sense. Nicole pinched herself multiple times and cried out when she was sure that this wasn't a dream.
|
|
|
Post by Christopher Valentino DeMarr on Aug 6, 2009 5:00:14 GMT -5
Christopher smiled weakly as the young nurse came with her hands on her hips in a disgustingly enthusiastic way. "What can I get for you handsome?" she said in a sickly sweet voice. Christopher winced. This was a hospital for Pete's sake. It wasn't a happy place. He opened his mouth to ask for food but stopped when Nicole suddenly replaced all thoughts involving his stomach. He had to find her. Let her know he was okay.
"Yeah," he said weakly, "I'm starving... But I /have/ to find Nicole Marie Anderson. It's really important.." he gave her a pleading look as his stomach growled again. The nurse gave him a skeptic look before pulling a wheelchair out of a closet. "I can walk you know," he didn't like the idea of being wheeled into Nicole's room. The nurse helped him into his chair. Good thing he was still in /his/ clothes that would give him some more dignity, though his shirt was missing, probably since they had to pump his stomach and all.
"Yeah I bet you can walk but we have to have you under twenty-four hour monitering to make sure the chemicals are all out," She continued as she wheeled him out of the room, "And to make sure you don't go off on any more suicide attempts. You're really lucky you decided to overdose in the hospital," Christopher winced at her words and they continued in silence until they reached Nicole's room. The nurse wheeled Christopher in and brought him a meal. It didn't look very appetizing but Christopher was too hungry to care.
After the nurse walked out Christopher got up from the chair and stretched his legs. He didn't know how to begin. Or what to say in the first place. "I asked her if she could bring me here. To let you know I was okay, and I'm sorry.." he mumbled. He looked down at the ground and shuffled his feet.
"I know you're angry with me.. but.." he stopped. He couldn't go on. He just looked at her hopefully.
|
|
|
Post by Nicole Marie Anderson on Aug 6, 2009 5:15:06 GMT -5
"Why did you do this to yourself? And if it was because of my I don't need you to lie and sat it wasn't because of me," Nicole stopped for a moment. She didn't want the tears to come from her eyes. She managed to get herself under control. "I don't have a reason to be anymore mad then you are at me," she sat up with a small groan.
Though she had asked the question she didn't want to hear the answer to it. She already winced as if he had answered her question. She didn't know what else to say to him. She was shocked and hurt, she was sure this was how Christopher had felt the day she had entered the hospital.
Nicole stretched out her hand for him to take, it was something the two seemed to do often. She wanted him to come closer and she hoped this was inviting enough though she wouldn't be suprised if he didn't want to take it. Nicole didn't deserve it.
"You picked a good time to try and kill yourself," she wasn't quite sure why she had said it. And if she had meant it as a ice breaker or if she was being serious about it. Her own thoughts and emotions she couldn't figure out.
|
|
|
Post by Christopher Valentino DeMarr on Aug 6, 2009 5:30:16 GMT -5
Christopher shook his head and took a step back. He was afraid to touch her. As though touching her would be excruciating. His nose wrinkled and his brow furrowed. He took a deep breath and swallowed. Whimpering as his throat was still sore from the tube.
"After I left I overdosed on pain killers because I was angry, I was hurt, I was scared, I was tired, I just didn't want to face it anymore," as he spoke he walked up to her bed, "I heard the beep come from your room and the nurses rush in and I panicked, and the drugs started hitting my system and yeah. You can assume the rest."
Christopher raised himself onto her bed and lied down next to her. He sniffed and covered his face with his hands. "I'm so sorry..." he mumbled. A lump formed in his throat making it difficult for him to speak correctly. "I just couldn't take it... I wasn't thinking.. I felt so much better..." He rambled on digging his fingernails into his scalp. He looked up and Nicole and his heart started pounding in his chest. He was certain she could hear it.
"Nicole we can't do this." he croaked, "Look at us.. We're in the hospital because of all that we do," he stroked her cheek gently despite the pain it caused him. Every little action of affection tore him apart but he couldn't stop himself. "When I said goodbye.." he choked on his words. He couldn't believe he could bring this up right now. "I...I..." his face was so close to hers it was scaring him. "I tried to mean it.." the tried in his sentence was a signal meaning he was trying so hard not give up on what he believed would be the best way. To say goodbye. But it was hard. Especially when she was so close. He looked at her painfully. Would this ever be right?
|
|
|
Post by Nicole Marie Anderson on Aug 6, 2009 5:41:33 GMT -5
She turned her face into his neck ignoring the pain along her stitches. It felt good to be so close after everything that had happened that day. She tried to listen to him but it was difficult to hear him over her own heartbeat over her own screaming voice inside her head.
Looking at him she was sure it was bad and she was glad she hadn't heard him completely. Though it didn't take away the pain and the parts she heard increased the pain. His story about the pain killers made her heart stop. She felt responsible, careless, and selfish. She wanted something so bad and had put that to risk.
Nicole was awful. She tried to get as close as she cold and finally all the tears fell. Christopher was the first guy she had opened up to about everything. The first guy who knew her inside and out and still wanted to be there for her. The first guy she hadn't ran away from and the first guy she had let her self fallen for. And sitting her she wished she hadn't.
"You tried or you are trying," she had caught the past tense in his words and she sniffled. Her voice was muffled from his skin and from her tears. Nicole couldn't believe he was bringing this up again right now. It felt so wrong. She wanted it to stop for everything to be right again.
Why had things gone so wrong and why couldn't they bring themselves together? She wished either of them had the answer but neither of them did. "Whatever you want," she croaked. She had said the words before and still this was where the two landed.
|
|